Waiting For My Cats To Die

Stacy Horn

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD! This is a discussion amongst participants of ReadLiterature.Com's reading group. Since they have all read the book, they discuss it freely - including its twists, turns, and the ending. If you have also read the book, you might enjoy the comments of other readers. But if you haven't and intend to do so, then the following discussion might ruin it for you.

Consensus:

Polls from "Waiting For My Cats To Die"

Posted by Lale on 17/2/2002, 16:01:45

Before we start discussing this month's book, Stacy Horn's "Waiting for my Cats to Die" (a memoir, a little different than our usual fare of literary-fiction), I thought we could simulate some of the protagonist's polls. She takes these quick surveys in her website, "a virtual community" (I haven't quite figured out what kind of service she provides, but regardless, I imagine it to be a place where people go just to chat, not very different than ours) and maybe we can take our own polls on the same topics. Let's see what our little community thinks of life and death and midlife and such.

So, from Stacy Horn's polls:

1. At what age do you think middle age begins?

2. Name one thing you hope to accomplish before you die, something that will bug you on your deathbed if you don't.

3. Are you happy? Please express your happiness level in percentages.

4. What do you want more than anything else?

5. How often do you fantasize during the day? Do you have recurring fantasies?

6. When things are going wrong in your life, what makes everything okay? Or, what at least makes you feel better? What are the things that make life worth living, or bearable, when everything else mostly sucks?

7. What do you miss the most from your youth?

8. You've got the rest of your life in front of you. What do you look forward to?

Posted by Lale on 17/2/2002, 16:31:44, in reply to "Polls from "

1. At what age do you think middle age begins?

I used to think that it started at 40. Now I think it starts at 50.

I'd rather be called "old" than to be called "middleaged".

2. Name one thing you hope to accomplish before you die, something that will bug you on your deathbed if you don't.

In Stacy Horn's poll of 136 people, 16% said "publish a book". In all honesty, that's my answer too. Even if it is a translation (not an original work of art), or a coffee-table book.

Or:

I would like to have a piece of work that I have created (object d'art) to be displayed in one modern art museum, anywhere in the world.

3. Are you happy? Please express your happiness level in percentages.

I am happy. Percentage level: 80%

4. What do you want more than anything else?

(I assume this question to imply things other than the health of my loved ones, my own health, my daughter's education etc., the most natural wishes...) A very large home with a very large garden, in which I can give literary dinner parties. I imagine these dinner parties to be very pleasant, very elegant. Good food, good wine, good conversation. I imagine all my bookworm friends I have made over the internet, thanks to this website, coming to my parties, even if they have to travel half-way around the world just to attend my literary evenings. And a maid to clean up the next morning.

5. How often do you fantasize during the day? Do you have recurring fantasies?

Many times, I cannot estimate the number per day. Most of my fantasies are recurring.

The first part of the question, the "everything okay" part, that would be my husband. He has in the past made eveything okay. But there are problems that even he cannot solve. Or sometimes he is the problem ;-)

As for the second part of the question, the "at least makes you feel better" part, I would answer buying a new outfit, a new pair of shoes or a few hours at the hair dresser getting pampered and getting a new hair style. Or a cold glass of bier at a café.

What are the things that make life worth living, or bearable, when everything else mostly sucks? This would be my daughter, husband and cat. Love of animals, love of children. Having a home to cuddle up with a book.

7. What do you miss the most from your youth?

Being skinny. Except of course, I didn't know that I was skinny at the time. So, I really couldn't enjoy it.

8. You've got the rest of your life in front of you. What do you look forward to?

This is the hardest question for me to answer without repeating some of my wishes I wrote above. I guess, it would be a combination of 1. decorating my large dream house in the Victorian Style and giving dinner parties in it, 2. being disciplined enough to finish all the book projects I have started (and see at least one of them in print), 3. having grandchildren and being the "absolutely best" grandma.

Lale

Posted by Anna van Gelderen on 18/2/2002, 19:36:37, in reply to "Re: Polls from "

Since I am right in the middle of Stacy Horn now, I am rather in the mood for this poll. So here goes.

1. At what age do you think middle age begins?

Always several years from now until I am 80, when I will suddenly be old and wise.

2. Name one thing you hope to accomplish before you die, something that will bug you on your deathbed if you don't.

Run an entire marathon without sustaining injuries; not just the half marathon, that I've done several times now.

3. Are you happy? Please express your happiness level in percentages.

Yes, I am happy. The percentage varies between 80 en 90% and sometimes there are very brief moments when it's up to 100%.

4. What do you want more than anything else?

Well, I have co-authored two books, so I can skip the publish-a-book thing. But I do want to go on travelling to remote parts of the word. There are still so many wonderful places I have not been yet. I want to see South-America, Africa south of the Sahara, the Australian outback, Rarotonga, Japan, Alaska, and so on and so forth.

5. How often do you fantasize during the day? Do you have recurring fantasies?

I have one recurring fantasy. It's very boring and unoriginal: I win a couple of millions in the lottery, give up my job, move to the country where I take up residence in a modest house without neighbours but with cats, dogs, geese, ducks and a horse, and spend my time combining a nice useful volunteer job(one day a week) with an utterly useless study, such as musicology or medieval studies or more literature.

Just going for a long run in the country always makes me feel much better. Really, it works every time. The only hard thing is, to get myself into my running shoes and out of the house. Somehow I resist doing that when I feel blueish.

7. What do you miss the most from your youth?

The boundless energy. Being able to sit all night in the pub with friends, drinking a little too much and having conversations that seem really profound and special at the time and that I can never remember the next day. Nowadays if I do that it takes me at least three weeks to recover.

8. You've got the rest of your life in front of you. What do you look forward to?

More travels (see 4), especially my coming trip to the Peruvian Andes.

Anna

Posted by Kutlay Erman on 19/2/2002, 2:12:28, in reply to "Polls from "

1. At what age do you think middle age begins?

I felt middle aged when I started going to the doctor for things other than common cold etc.

2. Name one thing you hope to accomplish before you die, something that will bug you on your deathbed if you don't.

See answer 5 below.

3. Are you happy? Please express your happiness level in percentages.

Most of the time I am moderately happy (70%),10% of the time I am very happy, 10% of the time I am moderately depressed.The last 10% I am totally depressed.

4. What do you want more than anything else?

I wish I had a very interesting hobby.

5. How often do you fantasize during the day? Do you have recurring fantasies?

At work I don't fantasize at all, no time :-) On weekends.. O.K. I don't fantasize regularly or frequently. But there is one; after retirement, to buy a sailing boat and live on a remote coastal town and run a small cafe which I know nothing about and I might even hate it, nevertheless that is my fantasy. This also answers question 2 above.

My family. My son and my husband.

7. What do you miss the most from your youth?

This was when I was very young. In the newspaper, they would publish a short novel few pages every day and my father used to read us after dinner. It was my job to cut it out from the paper. We had stacks of novels. I wish I saved them.

8. You've got the rest of your life in front of you. What do you look forward to?

Retirement.

Posted by Dave on 19/2/2002, 5:06:51, in reply to "Re: Polls from "

By the way, I'm really enjoying the book... almost done. It's scary though how much I personally relate to Stacy's life-scenarios.

Here's my shot at the poll:

1. At what age do you think middle age begins?

40.

In too many ways, the roller-coaster crests the top rails here. Why do I say 40? Because I am now 38, and I find myself buying C.D.'s of my old old albums (David Gilmour, Alan Parsons etc.) and wistfully listening to them with glazed eyes. And I want a new Ford Mustang. Unless you plan on having the longevity of some sort of Old Testament saint, 40 is when most of us begin to realize that (barring accidents) we are now pretty much half dead.

2. Name one thing you hope to accomplish before you die, something that will bug you on your deathbed if you don't.

This will sound cliche, like the guy in the personal ads who likes sunsets and long walks on the beach... but for me, I would like to write and publish a book incorporating my unorthodox pseudo-Christian theory of the specifics of the afterlife. It could be either fictional or non-fictional. There are other things also I would like to accomplish, but I don't think any of them would "bug me" if they weren't fulfilled, as much as this one in particular would. One of these is to one day visit the Vimy Memorial in Arras, France.

3. Are you happy? List your happiness level in percentages.

60% happy. 30% unhappy. 10% numb. (Not very good huh?)

4. What do you want more than anything else?

A soul-mate friend. I lost one a while ago. I need what Anne Of Green Gables calls "a kindred spirit." Question 3's happiness level would be much higher and the numbness category would fall away entirely.

5. How often do you fantasize during the day? Do you have recurring fantasies?

Lots. Yes, I have a recurring fantasy about playing drums for a band called The Tragically Hip (crazy huh?)... but I gave up drumming long ago, way before I was middle-aged, and now I regret it like crazy. Also, I fantasize about owning a place called Orangedale Lodge which is an A-frame cottage style house from which I can see the Pacific ocean. In Hornian terms, the PACIFIC ocean is the "reality requirement" (page 220) in this fantasy. A couple months ago I missed the $10,000,000 lottery by one number. I had five of the six. So I fantasize a lot about "all the good I could have done" with that money.

6. When things are going wrong in your life what makes everything okay? Or, what at least makes you feel better? What makes life worth living, or bearable, when everything else mostly sucks?

The first part of the question?... Besides saying "I don't know" I guess I'd have to say considering how thankful I am for the unconditional love of my siblings and parents. I love the non-competitive nature of my family and how we always think the best of each other.

The second part of the question? It may sound crazy, but when I need to put things in perspective, I think of the movie Schindler's List.

The third part?

Friends. Family. Jacksie, my cat. My health. Books. Coffee.

7. What do you miss the most from your youth?

My enormous group of close friends, and my cardiovascular system.

8. You've got the rest of your life in front of you. What do you look forward to?

FANTASY: Linking with a soul mate.

PROBABLE REALITY: Being the M.C. at everyone else's wedding.

Posted by Lale on 19/2/2002, 14:08:47, in reply to "Re: Polls from "

: Lots. Yes, I have a

: recurring fantasy

: about playing drums

: for a band called The

: Tragically Hip (crazy

: huh?)... but I gave up

: drumming long ago,

For those of you who may not know, Tragically Hip is a Canadian band (from Kingston-Ontario), very popular in Canada, and not doing badly in USA either. I have their CDs and I have once seen them live in concert. Dave, if your fantasy comes true, don't forget to collect autographs for me.

I love Allan Parsons (Project). Why don't you fantasize playing with them? Oh, I get it, the reality aspect. Tragically Hip is Canadian (and far less famous) so you have better chance with them. It's good to remain modest in fantasies ;-)

Lale

Posted by len fehskens on 19/2/2002, 15:57:39, in reply to "Polls from "

1. At what age do you think middle age begins?

I suppose 40ish, like most people, but since it's an arbitrary categorization, I don't really care.

2. Name one thing you hope to accomplish before you die, something that will bug you on your deathbed if you don't.

There's nothing that will really bug me, but the only things on my list of things I really wanted to do that I haven't done yet are see the Grand Canyon and climb the Matterhorn.

3. Are you happy? Please express your happiness level in percentages.

Mostly. Not quantifiable.

4. What do you want more than anything else?

A soulmate.

5. How often do you fantasize during the day? Do you have recurring fantasies?

I gave up fantasizing because it only led to disappointment. There are some things I wish would happen, but I don't spend any time thinking about them. If they happen, great. If they don't, I'm no worse off than I am now.

My cats. The ocean. Trees. The moon. Chocolate chip cookies.

7. What do you miss the most from your youth?

The sense that the future was forever.

8. You've got the rest of your life in front of you. What do you look forward to?

Retirement with friends.

Posted by Lale on 19/2/2002, 0:17:57, in reply to "Re: Polls from "

: I win a couple of

: millions in the

: lottery, give up my

: job, move to the

: country where I take

I like your fantasy. I sometimes fantasize about living in Nova Scotia or Newfoundland, in a cottage that has icebergs for view. I have a postcard depicting exactly this picture, that's how I came up with the idea.

Lale

icebergs

Posted by Anna van Gelderen on 19/2/2002, 8:17:00, in reply to "Re: Polls from "

: I like your fantasy. I sometimes fantasize

: about living in Nova Scotia or

: Newfoundland, in a cottage that has

: icebergs for view. I have a postcard

: depicting exactly this picture, that's how I

: came up with the idea. Lale

Yes, icebergs are wonderful. I have seen a lot of them around Greenland. They have so many colours, depending on the way the sun is shining, and they move all the time, parts break off. In my house I have a clipping tacked tot the wall titled "People who have seen icebergs die a little more contented".

Anna

Posted by Lale on 19/2/2002, 13:54:19, in reply to "icebergs"

: "People who have seen icebergs die a

: little more contented".

Also, there is a mysterious allure of living in really cold places. Bundling up to go out, then when you come back in, enjoying the fire and the hot chocolate.

We don't have winters in Paris (not in the real sense anyway, i.e. it never snows) and I fear I have lost the appreciation of a hot soup and a wool sweater. In old movies I see Paris with real winters, snow and all, but things have changed now. The last strong winter was in 1996 (and that was the time when the entire public transport went on strike for a month, oh joy).

Lale

Posted by Dave on 11/3/2002, 4:15:45, in reply to "Waiting for my cats to die - Stacy Horn"

Did any of you notice in the inside first page that the category code for the book is "mid-life crisis"? Even though I am entering into my own first stages of M-LC, I probably would never have picked this book up in a thousand years if not for Len assigning it to us. I'm glad he did though... I found the book overall so light, gutsy and witty. The short little chapters are great (real non-Brazilian-like). Did any of you ever find yourself flipping ahead a few pages and seeing that the next chapter was so short, it encouraged you to keep on reading?

As I read Stacy's story I was surprised to find how many things I could personally identify with.

Check this out:

1. I live alone.

2. In an urban apartment setting.

3. With a cat (just one, and non-diabetic).

4. Have a bulgy stomach area.

5. I am a former drummer with a rock band and I still fantasize about "my big break" yet happening.

6. I also think I look and act younger than I am.

7. I am obsessed with thoughts of death, and tend to venerate those who have already died, and find elderly people endlessly fascinating.

8. I obsess about nostalgia.

9. I take a few life-cues from Tolstoy also (my favorite author)! Remember when Stacy said "It was while reading Tolstoy that I first realized... you could reach a point when you are alone for the rest of your life"?

Oh, I can relate! From her study of Sonya in Tolstoy's War and Peace, Stacy concluded "I'm dooming myself by refusing to let go of my own hopeless fantasies. If I don't let go of the fantasy, I won't get anything real."

I can so relate!

10. I too, like Stacy "don't want to die without love."

Our similarities end however, when it comes to T.V. I don't watch much T.V. at all, and don't even have cable! But enough about me. The following is a little review of the book I wrote a while ago...

The words "meine seele verlanget und sehnet" (my soul longs and sighs) are among the concluding sentiments in this book from the ever demure Ms. Horn. Actually "demure" is an understatement... in her thoroughgoing honest sort-of way, she is downright self-deprecating. And yet, Stacy is never self-loathing... never asking the reader for pity. So, as we read that she is the "self-proclaimed George Costanza of middle-aged women" we feel free to laugh along with her, knowing that she was probably smirking as she originally wrote it. She says, "I could live for T.V. I am that shallow" and "I choose to live on the surface because there's nothing good at the bottom." How about... "I'm an idiot and I hate myself." Or the statement that she is living a life in "permanent rerun." It's as though the book is written by someone trying to convince us that they're nuts. She tells us things that most people would only tell their psychiatrist. But, in the process, because she is so honest, we find that a lot of her questions, struggles, and fears, are similar to our own. She gives a voice to a wide range of common human uncertainty, and like a good psychiatrist, we listen.

Through short pithy chapters we follow the development of her "dead-people support system". Stacy is obsessed about death. As a result, she is constantly engaged in various methods of keeping the connection between the past and the present alive. This involves umpteen visits to graveyards, lots of tombstone reading, geneology hunting... searching through long forgotten photo-albums, yearbooks and artifacts, microfiched obituaries. Conducting interviews with old people simply because they are nearer the fateful day than herself. She venerates longevity. She seeks a path between the isolated pockets of her own family's history. "The meaning I seek is only in my heart" she says, "and exists only because I want it to exist."

From statements like that, and many others, I got the impression that Ms. Horn was anything but shallow. There's lots good at the bottom! Strange? Yes! But strange NOT in the negative connotation that she always seemed to condemn herself towards. Alas, I've said nothing about her cats. But this review is already too long. Suffice it to say that this woman is crazy about her cats. If she ever points one tenth of the devotion and love for her cats towards a man, that guy will be the luckiest dude in the world.

Posted by Lale on 12/3/2002, 11:57:09, in reply to "Re: Waiting for my cats to die - Stacy Horn"

I thought Stacy Horn's writing was fluid and witty. Obviously she is a talented writer. I am sure this book is doing well (judging by the amazon reviews), she says that her first book didn't turn out to be a success, it might be because she hasn't found her subject matter yet. We may read her best book yet.

I cried when Veets died. I cried a lot. Her pain was genuine, her delivery of the events of that day was undecorated. It was one of the saddest things I've ever read.

Rest of the book, I mostly laughed. I particularly enjoyed the conversation with the agent.

I could have done without all the stats on the dead. In some places these dead-info went on and on. I dreaded every chapter that was titled "death". I didn't know what to make of the "ghost" and the friend (Mikal) who told her about it.

Overall good book. If a book can make you laugh and cry, that should say something about the author. I hope she will find her niche (in subject matter) and write more books.

By the way, poor Beamers must have died too, because at the back of the book it says: "She and her cats, Finnegan and Buddy ..."

Lale

Posted by Len Fehskens on 12/3/2002, 15:42:51, in reply to "Re: Waiting for my cats to die - Stacy Horn"

>Did any of you notice in the inside first page that the category code for the book is "mid-life crisis"?

Oddly, I bought this book believing it to be fiction. The title intrigued me, and it wasn't until I was well into it (and after I had proposed it for the group to read) that I realized it was nonfiction.

>Even though I am entering into my own first stages of M-LC, I probably would never have picked this book up in a thousand years if not for Len assigning it to us. I'm glad he did though...

I'm glad you enjoyed it (as did I, despite its frequently downbeat town). Unless my mild angst at realizing, as did Stacy, that "this could be the way it is from now on" qualifies as my MLC, I appear, at 55 to have escaped unscathed.

>I found the book overall so light, gutsy and witty.

Yes, in comparison to the last four books especially.

>The short little chapters are great (real non-Brazilian-like). Did any of you ever find yourself flipping ahead a few pages and seeing that the next chapter was so short, it encouraged you to keep on reading?

Yes. The books I find the most difficult to read are the ones with no chapters at all; I feel like I have to read the whole thing in one sitting, with no obvious "roadside stops" where you can take a break without "obstructing traffic" or losing the thread.

>As I read Stacy's story I was surprised to find how many things I could personally identify with.

Yes, this was a bit scary.

>Check this out:

1. I live alone.

Ditto.

>2. In an urban apartment setting.

In a suburban high rise.

>3. With a cat (just one, and non-diabetic).

With 7, one asthmatic.

>4. Have a bulgy stomach area.

Ah yes, the mature male - less hair, more waist...

>5. I am a former drummer with a rock band and I still fantasize about "my big break" yet

happening.

Likewise, though I never really hoped to be a rock'n'roll star. I just like playing for people.

>6. I also think I look and act younger than I am.

This seems to be widespread amongst our generation. I hear this a lot from other friends.

>7. I am obsessed with thoughts of death, and tend to venerate those who have already died, and find elderly people endlessly fascinating.

Here we part company a bit. I am certainly far more aware of death, as people I know and who are important to me start dying. And having experienced this loss, I am much more sympathetic to other people's loss, even strangers.

>8. I obsess about nostalgia.

My "nostalgia" mostly takes the form of revisiting the many many photographs I have taken since my early twenties. Almost every one of these photographs evokes the experience of the time, almost every one of which I relish.

>9. I take a few life-cues from Tolstoy also (my favorite author)!

Never read anything by Tolstoy. But it's music, not Literature, that is my forte.

>Remember when Stacy said "It was while reading Tolstoy that I first realized... you could reach a point when you are alone for the rest of your life"?

I didn't need Tolstoy to realize this. When in the space of a few months I lost my Dad, my 21 year old cat Merlin who I had raised from a twelve week old kitten, and broke up a twenty year relationship, it slapped me in the face.

>Oh, I can relate! From her study of Sonya in Tolstoy's War and Peace, Stacy concluded "I'm dooming myself by refusing to let go of my own hopeless fantasies. If I don't let go of the fantasy, I won't get anything real." I can so relate!

This is why I try to resist the siren song of fantasizing. Unfortunately, I still haven't gotten anything "real", other than my cats.

>10. I too, like Stacy "don't want to die without love."

Likewise, though I expect to check out as an eccentric old loner.

>Our similarities end however, when it comes to T.V. I don't watch much T.V. at all, and don't even have cable!

I watch some TV, but I've never watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer, though I do have the original movie on laserdisc.

My thoughts on the book in a separate posting.

len.

Posted by Lale on 12/3/2002, 16:10:50, in reply to "Re: Waiting for my cats to die - Stacy Horn"

: Yes. The books I find the most difficult to

: read are the ones with no chapters at all; I

: feel like I have to read the whole thing

: in one sitting, with no obvious

: "roadside stops" where you

: can take a break without "obstructing

: traffic" or losing the thread.

A little digression here: my daughter can put the book down only if she is at a chapter break. This can be very annoying. You tell her "we must leave now" or "you have to go to bed now" and she first has to finish the chapter. I, on the other hand, put the book down only in the middle of something exciting, some plot, or even half-sentence, so that I will want to pick it up again, I will be curious until I do. I fear that if I put the book down at a chapter break (one plot section, or train of thought completed, a new section is starting), I would have to re-orient myself, or I would have to mentally prepare myself as I do when I am starting a new book.

Lale

Posted by Michael Sympson on 12/3/2002, 17:14:23, in reply to "Re: Waiting for my cats to die - Stacy Horn"

What kind of mental preparation?

Michael

Posted by Lale on 13/3/2002, 12:11:27, in reply to "Re: Waiting for my cats to die - Stacy Horn"

: What kind of mental preparation?

:-)

Well.

Everyone has some apprehension before starting a new book, right? Will I like it? Should I save this for later and read this other one instead? Am I in the right mood for this? Will it go with the previous book I read? Will it fit in my purse for the commute? Does it match my hair?

Lale

Posted by Michael Sympson on 13/3/2002, 16:21:17, in reply to "Re: Waiting for my cats to die - Stacy Horn"

I like the hair and purse part. :-)

Posted by Guillermo Maynez on 15/3/2002, 2:03:43, in reply to "Re: Waiting for my cats to die - Stacy Horn"

I am very sorry to say that I did not like this book, but it's the truth. I hope no one is offended, for of course I do not intend to do so, but sincerely I can't find anything interesting in the life of a depressive woman who seems to prefer cats to people, who is sickly obsessed with death and, above all, whose main activity in life is wacth TV.

However, I can understand people liking the book; I just didn't.

Now, it's not that I have nothing in my life that could relate me to the woman:

I lived alone for several years until 2 years ago, when I got married. I'm very happily married, but there are those days when I remember with nostalgia (another key word of this conversation) my lonely years. Of colurse I have not entered any kind of midlife crisis, being 32, but I do not discard the possibility that I may have one some day.

I can't play anything, but I used to phantasize a lot about being the singer-leader of a rock band. I would have enjoyed it so much and I probably would have died young, as any respectable rock idol.

I barely watch any TV, mostly soccer games, and just as Dave I don't even have cable or satellite.

In any case, I didn't get interested in what the author had to say. I guess it's just not my kind of literature.

Well, I hope I will like Black Dogs, it sounds interesting. By the way: I live in Mexico and sometimes books take very long to reach me. Do we know what's the book for April?

Posted by Lale on 15/3/2002, 15:21:21, in reply to "Re: Waiting for my cats to die - Stacy Horn"

: I am very sorry to say that I did not like this

: book, but it's the truth. I hope no one

: is offended, for of course I do not intend

: to do so, but

That's the whole idea. We are here to agree and disagree and anything in between. The more variety in opinions the more fun.

About Stacy Horn's tv watching, she might be, just for the sake of the book, exaggerating how much time she actually spends watching tv. She has a job (entrepreneur), she has friends with whom she socializes in person, on the phone and via email, she writes books, she plays drums, she visits graveyards (!), she does society/volunteer work, she takes care of two sick animals, she reads Tolstoy ... How much time can she possibly spare to watch tv? I think she spends far more time in the chat room of her online service (which can be far worse than watching tv, in some respects).

I have been wanting to say this but keep forgetting: I have never watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I know about the show because my daughter sometimes watches it (she catches it by coincidence, she is not a follower, i.e. she wouldn't know the date/time it is on tv) but I did not know that there was an "original movie version".

By the way, Stacy Horn has been invited to participate or eavesdrop in our discussions. She might be reading all this. Hi Stacy!

Lale

Posted by len on 15/3/2002, 15:27:07, in reply to "Re: Waiting for my cats to die - Stacy Horn"

Lale writes:

>but I did not know that there was an "original movie version".

See

http://us.imdb.com/Title?0103893

len.

Hello from Ground Zero

Posted by Stacy Horn on 16/3/2002, 11:00:27, in reply to "Re: Waiting for my cats to die - Stacy Horn"

I wasn't sure where to jump in so I picked the end. I'm working the night shift at ground zero in Manhattan, it's nearly five in the morning here so I can't think. Actually, the rescue workers (we still call them that even though it's a recovery/clean-up operation now) anyway, they're starting to come in for breakfast.

As I said, can't think. Where should I begin?

Thanks for inviting me, Lale.

Posted by Anna van Gelderen on 16/3/2002, 11:15:27, in reply to "Hello from Ground Zero"

Hi Stacy, welcome! I saw that you had joined in, while I was busy posting my own opinion on your book (enjoyed it very much, see previous message). Are you writing anything else at the moment?

Posted by Anna van Gelderen on 16/3/2002, 11:08:33, in reply to "Re: Waiting for my cats to die - Stacy Horn"

Unlike Dave I found only a couple of things in this book I could relate to: I live alone after having been married in my twenties, I am about the same age as Stacy Horn and I adore my (healthy) cat. But that's where it stops: I very much enjoy living on my own, watch little tv, haven't got a clue what Buffy the Vampire Slayer is, live in a house with a garden in a small town, was a very mediocre student of the classical guitar for 5 or 6 years (so mediocre that I did not even dare fantasize about being famous), I rarely think about death and I have never been especially interested in old people or cemeteries and least of all in veterans. BUT I LOVED THE BOOK! It had me hooked as soon as I read: "I don't stay on any one thing for too long. So if you get bored, you won't be bored for long." That's the kind of mildly selfdeprecating humour I love. It's almost like British irony and it's subtle. And it was true, the loose structure and the chatty tone give the book the feeling of channel hopping - but out of it something very close to a story does emerge and something very much like a rounded personality as well.

I liked the humour, the honesty and the courage to be this honest. And of course, like Lale, I was moved to tears when Veets died. It was extremely embarrassing, as I was on the bus at the time, on my way to the office. But since it was still very early I think most people had not properly woken up yet, so chances are nobody noticed I was getting irresistibly misty-eyed. In short: original choice, Len and well worth reading.

Posted by Lale on 16/3/2002, 15:20:04, in reply to "Re: Waiting for my cats to die - Stacy Horn"

Isn't this absolutely wonderful? Stacy Horn herself!

Thank you Stacy for dropping by.

I told you guys she wasn't always watching TV. Look, she is with the rescue workers at 5 in the morning. And in the middle of all that, she did find a moment to write to us, just to say hi, just not to be ignoring our invitation. I think that's very sweet and modest. I am all smiles right now.

A note to all New Yorkers: You brave people, our thoughts are always with you. You have come out of this as a strong and beautiful people.

Lale

Posted by Stacy Horn on 18/3/2002, 23:02:17, in reply to "Re: Waiting for my cats to die - Stacy Horn"

Ha! And here I am again, back at ground zero and writing to my friends in Paris!

I need a break from working so I'm taking my break with you. It's been raining all day so the guys are coming in head-to-toe mud, demanding hot chocolate. They found three bodies yesterday so the mood is hopeful today (these guys are obsessed with finding everyone, which is, of course, impossible).

Now someone else asked me a question. I will have to go back and find her question and answer it.

Thank from New York for your thoughts, Lale. We need them and appreciate them. Americans, we're used to being hated usually, especially New Yorkers, who are not only hated by the world but by our own country!

I must admit I cried and cried when trucks started rolling in from EVERYWHERE with supplies and letters and people who wanted to help.

Posted by Stacy Horn on 18/3/2002, 23:06:36, in reply to "Re: Hello from Ground Zero"

Anna, thanks for the welcome! I'm trying desparately to write a book about a squad of detectives out in Brooklyn called the Cold Case Squad.

Unsolved homicides that are not solved are never closed, and these guys go through old homicide cases to see which can be solved now, usually because of technological advances like dna matching.

There are warehouses and warehouses of old case files and evidence that no one has looked at for decades situated around the city and I am DYING to go through them to write a book about what I find.

The thing is, I have to get permission from all these people, it's taking forever. But no one from the NYPD can talk to me or show me anything with it.

Thank you for asking.

What do you all do?

Posted by Lale on 19/3/2002, 0:23:41, in reply to "Re: Waiting for my cats to die - Stacy Horn"

Stacy, you are absolutely wonderful. Thank you so much for coming in here and talking with us.

Most of us here are cat fanatics and we were very moved by your dedication to your cats.

At the back cover of your book, it says "she lives with her cats, Finnegan and Buddy". From that note, I concluded that maybe after the publication of the book poor Beamers also died. Is that so?

Good luck with your new book, it sounds like you have to go through tremendous research. Do not give up! We are looking forward to the finished product.

Lale

Posted by Anna van Gelderen on 19/3/2002, 12:57:27, in reply to "Re: Hello from Ground Zero"

: There are warehouses and warehouses of old case

: files and evidence that no one has looked

: at for decades situated around the

: city and I am DYING to go through them to

: write a book about what I find.

Sounds really interesting. There must be so much to discover in these old files, especially in a city like New York. Even just browsing in archives can be very rewarding. I am researching all my ancestors, have got as far as the 18th century and in some cases even earlier, and find looking through all these records addictive. I also like the sleuthing element involved in that kind of work: just when you think you won't get any further, you suddenly discover a new lead and a whole new avenue of research. I hope you will keep on pestering the NYPD until someone gives in and talks to you. I am sure the files will yield all kinds of interesting material.

: What do you all do?

I am a lawyer (nothing fancy, I handle the legal business for a large university in the Netherlands), and for the rest I read and read and read, run, travel and spend a lot of time with my ancestors in the archives. I now regret that I was never interested in that kind of thing when my great-grandparents were still alive. They could have told me so many things I would love to know now. One of them died in 1980 at age 104, when I found all that old stuff boring. Shame on me.

Posted by len on 19/3/2002, 15:34:28, in reply to "Re: Hello from Ground Zero"

Stacy asks:

: What do you all do?

Elsewhere in here there's a thread titled "Who are you?". Rather than repeat myself (I like to think of myself as "constructively lazy"), I'll refer you to my posting there.

And I still owe the group my thoughts on Stacy's book; I feel particularly derelict because 'twas I who proposed we read it...

len.

Posted by Lale on 20/3/2002, 14:40:28, in reply to "Re: Hello from Ground Zero"

: What do you all do?

We are all bookworms here. Otherwise we are occupied with lawyer-ing, engineer-ing, poet-ing, translator-ing, theologist-ing, diplomat-ing and a bunch of other activities that are secondary to our reading.

One thing I really loved in Waiting For My Cats To Die was the inbetween-glory-moments. I have those, and I think they are worth living for. Some of my inbetween-glory-moments are very much like Stacy's. I loved the one, "Feed Beamers when his owner visits, he eats better when she is here."

About the trucks load of stuff sent to New York: I read an article about this. Millions of bottles of water arrived in New York within days of the tragedy. Thousands of teddy bears... People all around the world, felt so helpless in the face of this disaster that all they could do was to send stuff, and by god they did. It was a wonderful gesture, even though most of the stuff was not needed.

By the way, Stacy, the French *love* New York. It is their most favourite destination.

Love

Lale

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